How can you see good in bad people?

Excellent question.

1st of all, make a solid commitment, a no-turning-back iron-clad decision that you’re going to SEE & PAY ATTENTION the Good! Stop labeling her a bad person.

Maybe you do this thing in the title, wonder how to see the good in a bad person. The title of this discussion, is labeling someone “bad.” Therein lies the problem. It makes sure we stay stuck, & keep thinking the same way. I certainly have judged people and maintained a grudge. I’m not ashamed to say I need to read this blog post fairly often, though less now than a year ago.

On one hand we want to see the good, and in the same sentence, the question gives more attention to the undesirable qualities someone has. Which traits do you actually want to notice?

Ask yourself different questions… ’til you get an answer that is what you say you’re looking for. Don’t quit on yourself or the other person, you’re both worth the extra compassion. If you only let yourself come up with negative answers, then that tells you how responsible you are for the animosity you continue to feel. Do you want a problem to go away or not? hehe

Try these questions instead… they can easily jolt you into a refreshing set of thoughts and feelings, and isn’t that what you actually want?

How can I create a friendship with ____, and say her name.
What is awesome about_____, that I wish I had more of?
When will I feel comfortable around _______?

Remember, whatever bad feelings you’re having about a relationship with her, are not something she did. You have made decisions to choose thoughts that make YOU feel bad.

She is showing you what you don’t like about yourself. (Ooh, that’s a weird thing to tell someone I don’t know, sorry…) But everything I’ve learned tells me this. Anything we see that we like, or don’t like in someone else, is stuff we actually carry around in our own hearts.

And every one of us on the planet, goes through not liking someone. Sooner or later, most people realize that blaming any unhappiness on another person is pointless. Some people don’t “get it” their entire lives though. Are you going to wait that long to be happy?

Now for another easy perspective, watch this!

Steve